Exploring your Shadow

Exploring your shadow

The term ‘Shadow’ was coined by Carl Jung, the founder of Jungian Psychology in 1959. He defined it as the part of the consciousness that lies below the surface of our awareness. It is composed of suppressed emotions and conditioning (often from early childhood).  It is where we store all we reject/dislike about our self, (because these parts were shamed/unaccepted by our family or society around us).

These shadow qualities can be very positive and not integrating them can be holding us back. For example if you were shamed for being bossy when you were younger you may have trouble integrating your assertive side now. If you were told it was unacceptable to think of yourself and told not be selfish, you may put everyone else’s needs first and become exhausted and stressed.

You have probably heard Jung’s quote “What You Resist Persists” referring to the need for self-acceptance and integration of all aspects of self, as the way to heal.

In kinesiology we are working on our client’s shadow constantly, by making them consciously aware of what they may be ‘hiding’ that is causing illness, addictions, lack of success, metal health issues etc.…

Signs your Shadow is at work

  • Always trying to be perfect
  • Self criticism
  • Exaggerated positivity (avoidance of pain)
  • Repeating patterns/situations (what you resist persists!)
  • Overly reactive (addiction to drama, easily triggered)
  • Cut off from emotions (substance abuse/being constantly busy)
  • Projection

We can project onto another person our own unrecognized qualities (positive or negative) or we may use transference where we project unfinished emotional business from our past onto a current relationship. When we encounter a person or situation that triggers a shadow (unconscious part) we behave in a certain way. For example if you meet someone that reminds you of your mum (consciously or unconsciously) the projection is that you start to behave in the way you would around your mum.

Chakra imbalances can help show us a person’s shadow:

BASE deals with survival blocked by fear

SACRAL deals with pleasure blocked by guilt

SOLAR PLEXUS deals with willpower blocked by shame

HEART deals with love blocked by grief

THROAT deals with truth blocked by lies

THIRD EYE deals with insight blocked by illusion

CROWN deals with cosmic energy blocked by ego attachment

Through simple questions, affirmation work and the use of flower essences we can begin to bring our shadows into the light where they have less influence over us.

Question prompts for Shadow work

  1. What are 3 qualities that you like about yourself?
  2. What quality do you dislike most (judge) in others?
  3. When you gossip or criticize others what are you likely to say?
  4. The thing you hate most about your partner/best friend/co worker is?
  5. What is the worst thing someone could say about you? Why is that so terrible?
  6. What behavior do you do that causes you to criticize yourself?
  7. When you feel jealousy/envy, what do they have that you feel you are lacking?
  8. When you give advice to someone what is the main theme?
  9. Do you have nightmares? How do you feel in them?
  10. What personality trait(s) do you hope no one will find out about you?

AFFIRMATIONS

“My inner child is safe as I am here to look after them now”

“I accept my family was doing the best they could, even if it wasn’t good enough for me”

“Self acceptance brings me peace”

“I commit to loving myself and my life”

“ I am free to say NO to anything that doesn’t feel OK for me”.

“I accept and integrate all parts of myself”

“I do not need validation or approval from others, only self approval.”

FLOWER ESSENCES

Agrimony

Pleasing others, suppressing inner thoughts. Putting on a brace face.

Beech

Blaming and criticizing others due to high standards of perfection. (watch that halo don’t slip and choke you!)

Crab Apple

Needing to be perfect and pure. Upset if there is any impurity or flaw.

 Easter Lily

Integrating soul purity and bodily sexuality.

Manzanita

Feeling disgusted by one’s physical body. Seeing only perfection in what is spiritual.

Pine

Over identification with negative parts of self, guilt and self blame. Unforgiving of self.

Scarlet Monkeyflower

Awareness and transformation of darker emotions, especially anger and power.

Vine

Darkened forces of will which control others, expecting them to be perfect.

I hope this blog post has given you some tools for exploring your shadow side. If you would like a private kinesiology session to explore this further please let me know. Sessions can be held from anywhere in the world.